As I stated, while I am figuring out what I need to do, I am starting some mini-goals. And while this is a little late for this month....I thought I would still address it.
This month's mini goal: No 10pm dessert.
This bad habit started at least 8 or 9 years ago. OK, technically it started 10 years ago, although the 10pm part wasn't there yet.
When I was pregnant with the kids, I wanted ice cream. Like CRAVED it. So every night, Hubby and I would have ice cream. Yum yum. This became our nightly ritual. He would go downstairs and feed the cats, and get dessert for us. After the kids were born, Hubby started working 2 jobs. He worked his typical 8am-5pm, then 6pm-10pm. This was every day. So at 10pm, we would continue our ritual....feed the cats, eat dessert.
Today, he still works 2 jobs (although the hours are a little different). Three nights a week he isn't home at all. Three nights a week he is home for the evening, and 1 night a week....he gets home at 10pm. On the nights he is home, we would still eat our 10pm dessert. And many nights when he isn't home....I would get dessert for myself, at 10pm, when I fed the cats.
There has rarely been a night in the past 10 years that we haven't had a cake, ice cream, pie, or some dessert item in our house.
This ritual was more than dessert. It was a way of Hubby and I bonding. We looked forward to our nightly dessert. Sometimes we would get a "larger" dessert at the store, and share. We would talk about dessert earlier in the evening. Hubby works part time at the grocery store, so he would pick up dessert if we were out. He would text me to ask what I wanted.
On July 1, after looking at myself in the mirror, I just couldn't eat it. I was FAT. And eating ice cream wasn't going to help it. I texted Hubby and told him I didn't want dessert when he got home.
At that moment, I should add that we had 1 piece of Key Lime Pie, and 1/3 of a container of ice cream in the house. And those items lasted over another week in the house before they were touched (more on that in a minute) I should have just thrown them out, but I felt like that was a waste.
Hubby is sad that I am trying to change our ritual. I said maybe we could compromise and say that Saturday night is our ritual.....and that way we still have our tradition, but it is modified. And of course, no one says it has to be some full fat, sugary dessert. I am trying to not feel guilty. But with him saying how sad he is, it isn't helping.
We compromised that Saturday night will be our special treat night. It will give us something to look forward to. As long as it is small (which will probably be half the size of what it usually was), I think it will be ok.
I will have a progress bar that tracks how I am doing. Since I have "agreed" to having dessert on Saturdays, that leaves 27 days this month to NOT have dessert. I did slip one night last week and had some Ambrosia Salad. But so far, of the 9 nights I could have had dessert....I have only slipped that once.
I just keep telling myself I am NOT hungry (which I am not)....this is just a habit. Changing habits is an on-going progress. Wish me luck and willpower!